Why gratitude practices don't work

They didn't work because they were forcing me to feel a certain way rather than allowing me to feel all my feelings.

Subtly, we receive the message that our feelings are wrong. Imagine receiving that message—that the way you feel is wrong—when in truth, our feelings are the key to understanding ourselves.

As a veteran of techniques to ease my own chronic anxiety and relentless depression, I know that gratitude practices don't get to the root cause. Understanding what's really going on allows us to create space and love for all parts of ourselves.

Nothing is dismissed. Nothing is hidden under the carpet. All is welcome.

This invitation in The Cherished Mother is to go deeper, to know all parts of you, and to share in a space where all parts of you are welcome. Now I'm going to explore a paradox, which is one of my favourite things.

My own Nepalese shamanic teacher radiates gratitude, and being in his presence is a joy. Yes, I now feel deep gratitude in my life, but the gratitude comes through me. It's not forced, and it's gratitude for all of life—not just the so-called good parts. This is true gratitude, and it comes from feeling deep trust in all of life.

Life doesn’t always feel good, but it means my system can hold all of life and all of my feelings. No amount of positive thinking or raising your vibration will get you there. This brings to mind a quote about the butterfly:

"We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty."

That quote is from Maya Angelou, and with her wonderful grasp of words, she really gets to the heart of what I'm trying to say. The invitation Kate and I make in The Cherished Mother is to go deeper and to know all parts of you.

All is Welcome.